things were easier when i wasn't a girl

life was much easier when i was a tomboy.
love: football, beer, wings, loud music, cursing, and dumb stuff.
clear lip gloss, gel on the curls, and sporting a t-shirt that wasn't too dirty, at least obviously dirty.
but within the past year, i have become addicted to red lipstick, earrings and hair straighteners. if i am out and about, i must have my revlon certainly red stashed in my pocket. i use anything with a reflective surface as a mirror to put on my lipstick. no limits. as for earrings, they are a must. feeling my ears without them is worse than thinking i left my wallet on a grocery shopping cart. okay, almost worse than that, but it's close.
my beloved hair straightener died last week. so sad. it wasn't even expensive, i think that's why i respected it so much. a humble little thing performing grand gestures for a gal like myself. i came home from work and saw my little straightener in a horrible predicament. it was cracked. cracked as if a person full of rage had thrown it on the floor. a travesty. i still don't know how it happened. i kind of don't want to know, too painful.
so, i headed over to a beauty supply store. i walked in and i was immediately overwhelmed. there were hair products all over the place and i had no idea which straightener was the one for me. luckily, a few friends had suggested a couple of ceramic plated contenders. the customers were professional shoppers. surely, some were salon owners or stylists but it was still intense. they walked in and just picked things off the shelves like they were raiding the joint. the line grew at cheetah pace and the dang cashiers were chatting and bonding with their regulars and there i was, in need of assistance. lost in a world of iron and animal print totes. i was NOT leaving without a straightener though. i went with the contender that had received the most positive reviews. curly hair to straight hair is no laughing matter.
i wish i could say that was the end of my harsh realization that i'm a girl saga.
so, the next morning i was using my new straightener and the next thing i know, i am pinching the skin on my neck between the plates vs my hair. i was horrified and in pain. i knew it would leave a ridiculous mess on my neck. i almost fainted with dramatic flair but i kept it together. most people would have just stopped fussing with the hair for that moment.
but i didn't.
i still had the rest of the initially intended section to cover and it was almost time for me to leave for work.
i continued on, pinching hair right next to the burned area of my neck. i went to work and had what looked like a vampire hickey.
but my hair looked great!