passion tea

my friends don't believe me when i tell them that i am a shy gal. sure, i can be quite the jokester and i have a loud laugh but i am honestly shy. when it comes to guys, at least.
i have the worst dating skills in bexar county history. i make everything about the dating scene awkward. i analyze every physical movement, create several scenarios like 'maybe he was looking at the girl behind me' or 'what if he is a serial killer?' by the time i leave wherever i am at, i have high blood pressure, have more than likely run into a chair and am in need of my inhaler.
i am drawn to nerds.
it's a tough crowd because many of them are shy and awkward too. great.
so, my silliness was at a critical point today. i was a little excited about the waiter during our family lunch. luckily, i wasn't wearing my usual jeans and t-shirt attire. i got dolled up since we were going to church and i felt the urge to kick it up a notch. i just bought a new blouse in a new color.  limeyellow. a new color to me, since i am always in black.
yes, it is hot as hades outside and it would be normal for someone to be super thirsty, but having about six glasses of tea can seem excessive and rather suspicious to some folks.
he was so dreamy and hearing him speak so gently in spanish to my family gave it a spanish telenovela feel. my food sucked. the chicken i ordered frightened me. it was charbroiled chicken marinated with a garlic cilantro sauce. i envisioned a clear-ish type of sauce but when i got my food, it looked like there was moss on my dang chicken breast. luckily the rice and the beans were good. it didnt' really matter if i liked the chicken or not. i was already planning my engagement party and thinking of what our kids would look like. okay, so maybe i wasn't REALLY thinking of all those things but....
i was on my best behavior. kept my curse words in my mind and not on my tongue. used a fork AND a knife.   had my napkin on my lap. my first refill was one of innocence and necessity. it was a justified refill. of course, his courtesy on the first refill and his green eyes made it so pleasant that a second refill was deemed a certainty. i tend to exaggerate when it comes to a person's reaction but for once, i was actually witnessing some flirtation being thrown my way. he was attentive and might i add that he touched my shoulder with concern? YES, a touch. serious.
so throughout the lunch, i was downing tea like a dehydrated camel would drink water. every refill was filled with some form of concern, kindness, and spanish telenovela tension. i managed to get through my my mossy charbroiled chicken. mostly, because i scraped most of the moss off but the tea masked most of the intense taste. it was a fun little ride, i must admit.
now, a bunch of tea = a bunch of pee. i know, that was dumb, but i couldn't resist. and i liked it. no apologies.
i didn't want to get up and walk to the restroom because i tend to hit chairs with my hips when i am nervous. plus, it was really far away, so it was quite the gamble. i was doing pretty well on my acting like a lady skills so i refused to jeopardize my run. i just smiled and kept drinking.
the check rolled along and my noon romance was nearing its end.
gratuity was already included and i expressed my own gratitude with an additional tip. rebel.
goodbye smiles and thanks were exchanged.
i still had to tinkle. and i mean TINKLE. the drive home was a little stressful, there were some bumps and extended pauses so it was an ordeal. i got home in one piece and i thought i was seconds away from freedom when i walk towards the restroom and there is someone in there!!
what the flip?! hence....
that's what i get for being so sleazy after church during a family lunch.
excess and passion and consequence.
physical discomfort and panic.
and would i do it again?
you bet your tail i would.

overpowered at the ping pong table-well, almost overpowered...

last night was a treat. i hung out with one of my favorite friends. we met at our usual hangout. we had the house special. turkey sandwich with avocado and fries. as usual, our evening was peppered with silliness and awkwardness. the live band was weird. not an 'artsy' weird. just weird. the more than middle-aged male lead singer kept making a gyrating leg move while singing his bluegrass jams. it was not an elvis presley on ed sullivan leg move. just a leg gyration. i can't complain too much though. the last time we were there, the band was belting out 'let's all love each other and praise nature' jams. in addition to paying a cover, for which i want to be refunded, the waitress pranced around the restaurant with a tip pitcher for the band. there was a group of women who got up in lillith fair fashion and began swaying and dancing in a circle. then, it got worse. all of a sudden, a large dog was on the dancefloor. it was a beast of a dog. i don't know much about dogs, but it was as big as a horse. one of the flower power chicks was dancing with this dog. it was all too much.
back to last night..
so after we had our house specials, got visually assaulted by the band, and got overheated because the a/c was lame, we went outside. luckily, the ping pong table was left unattended. waiting for us. there were a few people outside, in groups of three. nothing too crazy. my friend and i were excited to partake in this new adventure at our hangout. a new chapter in the memory books. i had just picked up the paddle and was about to make my way to the other end of the table when this littly boy popped out of nowhere. an adolescent ambush. he was probably nine or ten years old. he was wearing a rather mature outfit: a white t-shirt with some print that i have seen on t-shirts for teens, long denim shorts, bright white sneakers, and a slicked back with a lot of gel hairstyle. despite his appearance, his demeanor was very childlike. scary childlike. twins in The Shining childlike.
with his hand stretched out towards the paddle in my hand, he asked, "can i play??"
at this moment i was shocked at his rudeness, annoyed that he interrupted my carefree moment, overwhelmed with the obligation of having to be nice because he was a kid and frightened by the blank look in his eyes and the man standing about ten feet way. i assume he was his father but i am not certain. he looked scary too. he had pretty much the same outfit on as 'junior' but his t-shirt was navy blue. he looked angry and violent. at first, he mumbled something to the child from afar and then said to the child, "we are leaving already." after 'pops' said that, 'junior' just turned and walked away and they both left.
stunned by what had just happened, i walk to the other end of the table and wait for my friend to serve, i don't know ping pong terms but i played volleyball in my heyday. we are ten minutes into our game and guess who walks in to the patio area??
yes, 'junior' and 'pops!'
after all the drama at the ping pong table, they head straight to the basketball court and play like there is no tomorrow. for a second i thought they were back for revenge or to loiter around the table until we coughed up the paddles, but they ignored us. i will admit i felt a little guitly for not offering the kid a chance to play.
then i thought "welcome to the jungle kid, stay on the lookout and get your own dang paddle next time!"