passion tea

my friends don't believe me when i tell them that i am a shy gal. sure, i can be quite the jokester and i have a loud laugh but i am honestly shy. when it comes to guys, at least.
i have the worst dating skills in bexar county history. i make everything about the dating scene awkward. i analyze every physical movement, create several scenarios like 'maybe he was looking at the girl behind me' or 'what if he is a serial killer?' by the time i leave wherever i am at, i have high blood pressure, have more than likely run into a chair and am in need of my inhaler.
i am drawn to nerds.
it's a tough crowd because many of them are shy and awkward too. great.
so, my silliness was at a critical point today. i was a little excited about the waiter during our family lunch. luckily, i wasn't wearing my usual jeans and t-shirt attire. i got dolled up since we were going to church and i felt the urge to kick it up a notch. i just bought a new blouse in a new color.  limeyellow. a new color to me, since i am always in black.
yes, it is hot as hades outside and it would be normal for someone to be super thirsty, but having about six glasses of tea can seem excessive and rather suspicious to some folks.
he was so dreamy and hearing him speak so gently in spanish to my family gave it a spanish telenovela feel. my food sucked. the chicken i ordered frightened me. it was charbroiled chicken marinated with a garlic cilantro sauce. i envisioned a clear-ish type of sauce but when i got my food, it looked like there was moss on my dang chicken breast. luckily the rice and the beans were good. it didnt' really matter if i liked the chicken or not. i was already planning my engagement party and thinking of what our kids would look like. okay, so maybe i wasn't REALLY thinking of all those things but....
i was on my best behavior. kept my curse words in my mind and not on my tongue. used a fork AND a knife.   had my napkin on my lap. my first refill was one of innocence and necessity. it was a justified refill. of course, his courtesy on the first refill and his green eyes made it so pleasant that a second refill was deemed a certainty. i tend to exaggerate when it comes to a person's reaction but for once, i was actually witnessing some flirtation being thrown my way. he was attentive and might i add that he touched my shoulder with concern? YES, a touch. serious.
so throughout the lunch, i was downing tea like a dehydrated camel would drink water. every refill was filled with some form of concern, kindness, and spanish telenovela tension. i managed to get through my my mossy charbroiled chicken. mostly, because i scraped most of the moss off but the tea masked most of the intense taste. it was a fun little ride, i must admit.
now, a bunch of tea = a bunch of pee. i know, that was dumb, but i couldn't resist. and i liked it. no apologies.
i didn't want to get up and walk to the restroom because i tend to hit chairs with my hips when i am nervous. plus, it was really far away, so it was quite the gamble. i was doing pretty well on my acting like a lady skills so i refused to jeopardize my run. i just smiled and kept drinking.
the check rolled along and my noon romance was nearing its end.
gratuity was already included and i expressed my own gratitude with an additional tip. rebel.
goodbye smiles and thanks were exchanged.
i still had to tinkle. and i mean TINKLE. the drive home was a little stressful, there were some bumps and extended pauses so it was an ordeal. i got home in one piece and i thought i was seconds away from freedom when i walk towards the restroom and there is someone in there!!
what the flip?! hence....
that's what i get for being so sleazy after church during a family lunch.
excess and passion and consequence.
physical discomfort and panic.
and would i do it again?
you bet your tail i would.